Edutarbiyah English Blog of Parenting and Tarbiyah
By Sidra Syed
Sometimes, I really miss my childhood. Those days were simpler, and despite the physical and emotional pain, they still seemed much better than today. I didn’t have the best childhood, but it certainly wasn’t the worst either.
As children, our problems were small—like when my classmate stole my pencil or when my dad didn’t buy me ice cream after lunch. At the time, these issues felt enormous, like the end of the world. I vividly remember when I was 11 years old, my parents scolded me, and I felt like I had to pack my bags and run away.
It’s human nature to run from problems rather than face and resolve them. That was my childhood, and I can’t blame myself for it. However, as I grew older, things became even more complicated. Each passing year seemed to bring new problems, often bigger and more overwhelming than the last.
The Role of Mother in Child Development
At one point, I became very worried, sick, and tired of life. I just wanted to give up and end the misery. But as we know, life doesn’t stop. In the midst of all this, the unexpected death of my best friend shattered me. I was devastated, and my world felt like it was crumbling.
For the first time in my life, I put aside all my personal problems and started contemplating life and its meaning. I began to realize that the more problems life throws at us, the more we learn to deal with them. Life, after all, is a cycle. Imagine a world without pain, suffering, or challenges—how strange would that world be?
In such a world, no one would be poor, no one would suffer illness, and no one would feel loneliness. But would people be happy? Would they have inner peace? The answer is no. Without problems, life would lose its meaning. People wouldn’t have the drive to thrive or struggle, and as a result, they wouldn’t find fulfillment.
It’s said that humans are the greatest creation of God—“اشرف المخلوقات”—but we are not perfect. We are prone to making mistakes. The biggest mistake I believe many humans make is ingratitude. Despite having everything, we still complain and yearn for more. Even in a world free from problems, people would still find reasons to be upset, questioning why they don’t have challenges in life. Ironically, this very lack of problems would lead to confusion and chaos, and hearts would remain restless. The only thing that could truly bring peace would be problems—pain and struggles.
Embracing Life’s Struggles for Growth
Pain and suffering are integral to our growth. When we experience pain, we learn valuable lessons. Just as a newborn baby cries as soon as it enters the world, it signifies the start of life’s journey with pain. The baby’s crying is not a negative thing; it shows the baby is healthy. Pain is a signal for growth and is a necessary part of life.
When we face struggles, we grow stronger. Falling teaches us how to rise again. Heartbreaks teach us resilience, and failure teaches us to try harder next time. Struggles are not inherently bad—they are the stepping stones to becoming a better person.
From a religious perspective, we gain a clearer understanding of why suffering is necessary. Let’s take the example of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the most revered prophet in history. He endured incredible hardships—losing his father before birth, his mother at a young age, and facing immense opposition throughout his life. His struggles were far more severe than our modern problems, yet Allah tested him with pain and suffering, despite loving him the most.
The reason Allah allowed such trials is that these challenges brought the Prophet (peace be upon him) closer to Allah. The same applies to us. Our challenges in life are not just obstacles but tests that bring us closer to our Creator. When we are in pain and no one else can help, we turn to Allah for solace, and through that connection, we find strength to move forward.
Allah loves effort—how we respond to our challenges matters the most.
How to Deal with Life’s Problems and Attain Inner Peace
So, how do we deal with life’s difficulties and find peace? The answer lies in four key practices:
- Acceptance: Understand that every difficulty is an azmaish (test) from Allah (SWT). Acceptance helps us cope and start seeing the bigger picture.
- Realization: Recognize that struggles are a natural part of life. Life is full of ups and downs, and accepting this fact allows us to approach challenges with resilience.
- Patience (Sabar): Patience is essential when facing difficult times. We must endure hardship while maintaining trust in Allah’s wisdom.
- Gratitude (Shukr): Always be thankful for the good things in your life. Gratefulness shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s present, bringing a sense of peace.
Positivity plays a crucial role in overcoming challenges. When we start focusing on the good, we realize that life’s problems are temporary, and what lies ahead is everlasting joy.
To conclude, I would like to share this verse from the Holy Quran:
“فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلۡعُسۡرِ يُسۡرًا”
“So, indeed with hardship comes ease.”
(94:5)
This ayah serves as a reminder for believers that Allah does not abandon us in times of difficulty. He is always there, and with patience and trust, we will find ease.
