Dr Muhammad Younus
Parenting is not an easy job. It is very hard and full of responsibilities for 24 hours a day, seven days a week and even for the whole age. Instead of that many responsibilities, it is a much more rewarding job as well.
Good parents are those who strive to think and act for the best of their children. Good child-rearing needs consistency and schedule work. Which gives kids a feeling of kind guardianship. In this blog article, we will discuss the 10 best features of good parenting.
It is a child’s psychology, that he or she wants to be seen and heard. To satisfy this inner want and to draw the attention of the parents towards them, the child may do many things. like throwing things, yelling and screaming.
Snatching toys from others and so on. It is a big test for parents. When they demonstrate patience, they give their child the message that he or she is valuable and validated for them.
But when they lose their patience and temperament, they can create stress and frustration for their children. Patience is very important for good parenting and it is the top list of all the good features.
2. Knowledge-based parenting.
Knowledge is the basic need and prerequisite of all requirements, which have to be done or created. To perform good parenting, it is crucial to have good updated knowledge about parenting and child psychology.
Knowledge gives the right direction to the parents. while without knowledge there is the possibility to go wrong or perform harmful direction.
Since parenting is a very sensitive topic, parents should improve their knowledge by studying books on the relevant topic. they can also improve themselves by Doing courses, taking workshops, seminars or meeting with experts.
3. Being a good role model
Parents are predetermined role models for their children. When a child comes into this world, he or she is in the lap of their parents. When a child opens his eyes of consciousness, he looks to his mother or father.
After looking towards them he or she starts to imitate his parents. So it is proved, that the first role model for a child are parents.
But the important thing is that, whether the parents are good role models or bad to be imitated. At this point, parents are required to improve their role modelling.
4. Love your kids and realize them.
Love, affection or warmth is very important for kids’ emotional development. These improve children’s personalities and they become emotionally strong and balanced.
Love and affection improve happiness and mental well-being in children. Moreover, these can cause improved physical wellness.
Love and warmth also create strong bonds and relationships between parents and children. which can help to make them train and do tarbiyah easily.
On the contrary lack of love and warmth by parents, especially in the childhood period can cause stress, and anxiety in the children. And it can cause to grow a weak personality. The deficiency of love can root in a lack of confidence and low self-esteem.
Due to a low level of love and warmth by parents, children show tantrums and become defiant. Good parenting is based on love and affection. Now the important point is, that for good Parenting only having love is not enough.
Rather parents should show and demonstrate their love and affection to their children. If children are younger, then parents can show their love by physical demonstration, like hugging, cuddling or holding them on.
If they are toddler age, parents can play with them like Indore games to show them love and affection. If they are older, parents can show them love and affection in non-physical ways.
Such as paying attention, having conversations with them and celebrating their birthdays or the important moments and events of their lives.
5. Kind and firm parenting style.
Good parenting should have consisted of both kindness and firmness. But between them, there is a fine line, which should be considered by the parents.
If parents go towards kindness at an extreme level, it would be permissive parenting. which is not considered better for children.
But if they go towards firmness at an extreme level, which means there is only firmness and consistency, it would be an authoritarian parenting style. And the parents would be considered harsh and firm.
Some parents are hanging between these two kindnesses and firmness, they don’t know where to land. This parenting style is called disengaged.
Sometimes it is difficult when a kind person and a firm person get married. One tends towards kindness and considers it as a good attitude for parenting. While the other tends to be firmness for a good parenting attitude.
Now there is a conflict between them about where to go for parenting kids. The kind person wants to be more lenient to parent kids, while the other wants to be more strict and firm.
But when we analyze, they both are wrong, because mere kindness without firmness leads to permissiveness. And mere firmness without kindness leads towards an authoritarian parenting style. A good and balanced attitude is to be kind and firm with balance.
6. Holistic parenting
The word holistic emphasizes the importance of wholeness in parenting and the interdependence of its all parts. Holistic parenting means being aware of all the aspects of your child’s development.
Parenting like all other facets of life cannot exist on its own. It requires a complete look into you, your relationship with your spouse, your family lifestyle and your child’s contribution to his / her holistic development.
Being a parent we should focus on five areas of child development. e.g. physical development, mental development, emotional development, social development and spiritual development.
Holistic parenting sense is very necessary for good parenting and should be adopted by good parents. Read More
7. Purposeful life attitude.
A purposeful life attitude is rooted and depends upon the purpose of life. The question here is this, what is the purpose of human being life?
From an Islamic perspective, the answer would be to surrender completely and to submit every aspect of life to Allah Almighty.
If this is the purpose of life, then your attitude toward life would develop based on this thought. If you have a purposeful life attitude, your parenting style will automatically rely on and be based on this attitude.
So it is crucial first to define your purpose in life and then connect your parenting style to it so that your child would be connected with your philosophy of life.
8. Academic Support
Good parents support their children academically and cultivate their mental abilities. Mental development is one of the most important areas of child development.
It improves by academic support and by the cultivation of solid study habits in children as early as possible.
Good reading and studying habits are crucial for mental development. along with educational evaluations and progress tests. Valuing academic support by parents as early as possible is very necessary.
When poor study habits take root in children, it is very difficult to eliminate these habits and reverse them into healthy study habits.
Parents should take necessary actions toward academic support and give high value to it. They should remain in contact with teachers and instructors of their children and support them in academic regards.
9. Keep a happy and stress-free lifestyle.
Happiness is the soul and essence of quality life. Every person in this world wants happiness and parents want to make their children happy.
If there is all materialistic stuff in life but there is no happiness, it means there is no quality of life.
It is the right of children to pore happiness in them by the parents. Happiness comes with a happy attitude to life and stress comes due to stressfulness.
So it is necessary for parents who want to have a good parenting attitude, to spread happiness in their children by behaving them with smiling face happiness.
10. Good sense of humour.
A sense of humour is a big quality of influential people. People who are considered to be followed or people who are at the stage of leadership and have some followers are required to have a good sense of humour.
Parents have the leadership status for their children. so they must have a good and healthy sense of humour. A good sense of humour encourages openness in dialogue among family members and anticipates good relationships.
When there is tension in the situation in the family, only one sentence of humour releases all the stress and makes the situation filled with happiness.
Happiness strengthens the immune system and balances the emotional state of life. Most importantly, due to a good sense of humour, family time becomes more funny and easy.
On the contrary, if parents suffer from humour deficiency or humorlessness, unfortunately, this condition will cause magnified worries and burdens.
This results in anxiety and stress in the whole environment and children. So a good sense of humour is very important for parents who wish to have good parenting. Read More